10 Similarities Between Warcraft & Wine

Yesterday I woke up with my head looking and feeling like this. Then somebody did it to my Toon. I didn't even know that was possible.
But it got me thinking, which was an achievement in itself.

Reasons that WoW is like wine:
  1. Two Major Factions
    Red wine is strong, proud and vital like the Horde. White wine is weak, thin and suitable only for church garden parties.
  2. Accessibility and Depth
    Anyone can pick up Warcraft in the same way that any fool can get mindless on dodgy plonk. To master the subtleties takes dedication and talent. A great player is in every way as impressive as a true Piss Artisté.
  3. Cellaring
    You get better faster if you leave your Toon in the tavern for a long time.
  4. Claret = Blood
    It's not called World of Hugcraft. Nuff said
  5. EU Servers
    French stuff is supposed to be the best but most people still get mass produced Californian.
  6. Jargon
    Both have an effect on your ability communicate. Too much of either and become incoherent. Interestingly, in both cases you can usually be understood by someone who has partaken roughly as much as you have.
  7. Weird Place Names
    Seriously does wine have to come from Screaming Monkey Valley? Or Chateau du Flange? Clearly Blizzard are using the same naming software to come up with this stuff.
  8. Goes Well With Snacks
    Mmm... cheese! Or little bits of deep-fried chorizo. Or olives stuffed with garlic. And on Warcraft no-one has to smell your breath either.
  9. Too Much Is Never Enough
    For only US$15/month you can really mess yourself up.
  10. Codependants & Enablers
    If you can't keep it under control your spouse, partner or significant other may well have something to say about it. On the other hand if they share your addiction then you can probably just keep dancing as the ship goes down.


Sargeras said...

The Grapes of Wrath of the Lich King?

MomentEye said...

That's vintage humour, your scariness.

Please don't smite me.

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